Bartering with God…

The Battle Cry to Wellness

There were times when the pain, the inability to live a normal life got to the point were I asked God these very words “If you wish for me to be here then allow me to find the best Drs. to help me so I can live my purpose or let me go”. I am a straight shooter and during this entire process I have been very fortunate to not have depression. Lord knows I’ve had just about everything else throughout this journey. I can’t say there are not moments of deep sadness, but they pass and have not had an impact on my ability to remain positive and trudge forward.

A big thank you to the man upstairs and to my family for the DNA which made me not take “NO” for an answer!

Fundraising with Water2Wine on November 8

On November 8 Water2Wine will be hosting a fundraising event for FAIR from 5 PM- 8 PM at their Round Rock location. Come out and sip, shop and pamper yourself while supporting a great cause!

Admission is only $15 and all monies raised will benefit FAIR!

 

For more information on Water2Wine visit their website at www.water2wine.us

 

New Ebooks — Autism Information and Stories

This week I spent time putting together some new Ebooks. It is my goal to help parents find resources and ways of understanding what life with autism may be like through my eyes. I want to do this by helping parents find creative ways to learn more about autism that are cost efficient and user friendly. Below you will find information about the latest Ebooks.  I hope that you and your family can find these books both helpful and useful in understanding autism.  You can learn more about my Ebooks by visiting: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/bringingthemusictolife4u

 

The Green Dot: Autism and Social Networking Sites

This is a guide book to social networking sites for people with Autism or people who Support individuals on the Autism Spectrum. In this book I’ll share my experiences with social networking sites like Facebook. I’ll tell you the pros and cons of social networking sites and help provide some simple strategies for helping your child or student learn how to use Facebook safely and appropriately. This book will be great for helping teenagers and young adults learn about Facebook and other networking sites.

 

Autism Social Thinking and Context Guide

“Context is King” is a quote by Dr. Peter Gerhardt a Behavior Analyst in the field of Autism. Understanding context is critical for social success. I spent several years trying to master certain social skills. I read books on the subject and even studied with people. It wasn’t until I learned about social context that I began to see huge improvements in the area of friendship in my life. People with autism need to learn a social skill set for several different environments. We access a different set of social skills for the club or at a party than we would at the library. We must learn how to access different social channels for various situations. We also need to understand the different context of each social relationship. A good friendship is not the same context as a co-worker. We must learn how to behave differently with the co-worker than we do our friend. This book will help your child or student learn the different channels or contexts of social relationships.

 

It’s Not About You or Me: It’s About We

This is a presentation outline. I present on Autism, Special Interest, the Make Believe World, Coping Mechanisms, Life on the Autism Spectrum, Diagnosis, School, College, Transitions, and Work.     The Reality of Living Within Two Worlds     People with Autism often create a make believe imaginary world. This book is about that imaginary world and the relationship it has Autism. In this book I share my experience with the make believe world. I will share how I use it as a coping mechanism to help get through each day. The make believe world can be a great coping mechanism. It can also be a troubling if too much time is spent in the make believe world. When I make a friend they become like my mother in my mind. I have to try and balance that with the real world. Parents often ask why their child lies about silly things like flushing the toilet after using the restroom. This book goes into detail about why that may be happening and why your child may not really be lying. You get a look inside my asperger’s mind to learn more about the make believe world.

 

Autism Lives With Me

This is a manuscript full of journal entries I have authored over the years. You’ll see my thoughts and feelings towards autism first hand. This book will help give insight into what your autism spectrum child may be thinking or feeling. This is my journey of healing and acceptance towards autism. I went from coping with autism to living happily and successfully with autism.

 

Living Happily and Successful

This is my story. I’m 27 years old. I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome when I was 22. Since then I have been on a very emotional and remarkable journey. I now choose to be happy and successful. For a long time I struggled to want to live because of the asperger’s syndrome. Learn about how I overcame those feelings to find feelings of complete happiness. I share my story in hopes of inspiring you and others. I want you to know there is hope for you or anyone you know with Autism. Hope you enjoy my journey as much as I do.

 

I am a child: Just Like You

I am a child: Just Like You is a story about a little boy named Mason. Mason is unique and special. Follow Mason on his journey exploring the world as he sees it. You will learn that Mason is just like you or any other child. I am a child: Just Like You is aimed to encourage growth of self esteem for children with Autism or other disabilities. It is also a great tool for educating other people about Autism Spectrum Disorders and other Disabilities.

 

These are the latest Ebooks that I’ve put together. Please take a minute to visit my page and learn more about them. If you have any questions feel free to email me at travis@travisbreeding.com or visit my website at: http://www.travisbreeding.com

From Coping with Autism to Living Happily with Autism

I was asked to write this article about coping with autism.  A few months ago I would have been okay with writing an article on coping with autism. But today I’m not. Because for the first time in my life I’m not coping with autism; I’m learning to live happily with autism.

I suppose you could still consider it coping but coping doesn’t sound positive enough for me.   Like many adults on the spectrum, so many parents of children on the spectrum, and children themselves living with autism I spent years trying to cope or get by with autism.

Coping with autism made it worse for me. I needed to be living happily with autism.  This is something that I’ve begun learning.  I used to be so frustrated with autism that I didn’t even know where to begin trying to cope with it. I’m very high functioning.  I have Asperger’s Syndrome.  While frustrations for people on the spectrum will be different due to functioning levels we can all agree that socializing and friendships are probably the most difficult challenges.

For years I wanted to have a real and true friend.  But I didn’t know how.  I wanted to have an awesome life but I didn’t know how.  I was looking for this magical pill or medicine that was going to make all of this happen. When I couldn’t find that magic pill or medicine I wanted someone else to fix everything for me.  I didn’t know how to fix it but didn’t feel that autism was my fault and I wanted someone else to fix it.

I was stuck in a bout of depression. I was trying to cope with autism.  What I’ve learned from my best friend now is that I can do so much more than just “cope” with autism.

I can live happily and successfully with autism.  There comes a point and time in everyone’s life rather autistic or not that we all want to give up and throw in the towel. I was there.  But I have decided not to let that be the defining point of my life.  That isn’t want I want to be remembered for.

I wanted to be remembered as someone who embraced autism and worked hard to overcome it. Not just someone who spent years of their life coping with autism. I want to live happily and successfully.

While there is no cure for autism I do know that the closest I’ll ever get to being cured is by having a true friend who accepts me for who I am and accepts all of my autistic traits.

The cure is simple. There doesn’t need to be a cure. Everyone needs hope in their lives. True friends provide that hope.

I found that when I’m willing to work super hard at controlling my autistic traits and tendencies my friend is willing and happy to work really hard on accepting them and embracing my traits herself.

The first step in learning to “cope” (live happily) with autism is accepting the diagnosis. It doesn’t matter if you’re the person on the spectrum or a parent to the child on the spectrum. You must accept it.

The second step is to embrace and love yourself or that person you know on the spectrum.  I have found that once I started accepting it and myself I begun to like myself more.  Today, I can think of two or three amazing qualities I have that trump every autistic trait that I have.

I bet if you sit back and think about yourself or your child you can see and find the same.  When you can shift your mindset from learning how to “cope” with autism to learning how to “live happily and successfully” with autism you’ll begin to see a lot of great changes in your life.

I didn’t know what a true friendship really was before I started trying to make this mind shift. Now I’m learning what true friendship is because I have a friend who’s willing and happy to show me.

When I was coping with autism I was trying to get friends to tolerate me. When I began embracing autism and being happy with myself I started wanting people to like me for the person I was and found that not only did a friend tolerate me she appreciated me.

I’m a firm believer in the fact that 90% of life is about attitude.  When we wake up each morning we make a choice about how our day is going to be. For years I was making the wrong choices and getting horrible results.  Once I started to make the right choice I began to see improvements to my life.

The best thing you can do for your child is help them realize this. Then once they realize this help them meet friends.

One thing I do not like seeing is when people shelter their kids from social interaction out of fear they may be hurt. While I certainly understand a parent’s concern and it is a very valid one I can tell you if you shelter your kids and don’t ever let them try and experience social interaction they will end up being hurt much worse in the long run than they will by making mistakes socially in the short term.

I encourage adults on the spectrum to be social. Attend events. Meet new people. But most importantly never hide who you are. My friend knows all about my autism.  I try not to use any of it as an excuse but she knows it and is aware. When there are misunderstandings that occur in our friendship we communicate.

I’ve found that the difference between a true friend and a fake friend is their willingness to communicate and work through issues.

True friends ask questions about what your intentions are. They don’t make assumptions.  Communication improves friendships for everyone. Not just people with autism.

Another key element to living happily with autism is to find a passion and run with it. My passion is writing and talking to parents of children with autism and helping people. Find out what you are good at and enjoy.  Help your son or daughter find what their niche is and help them develop that.

Really I’m not the best person to write an article on coping with autism because I never really learned how to cope with it.  I simply learned that it was something I didn’t need to learn how to cope with. I needed to learn how to live happily with it instead.

I encourage you to do the same and to help your loved ones do the same as well.

When you make the shift from coping with autism to living happily with autism you have learned how to cope with autism.

 

Travis Breeding
FAIR – Junior Advisory Board

Read more about Travis at:
http://www.travisbreeding.com

Find more articles by Travis at:
http://www.specialneeds.com/children-and-parents/autism/my-asperger-mind-friendship

Maximized Living Event


In July, FAIR had it’s first meetup. We met at Mangia’s Pizza in north Austin. We had a great showing. Everyone introduced themselves and are all excited to move FAIR forward. We met for a round-table discussion and brainstorming. Our focus was introducing ourselves, our goals and mission.

We are looking for key people to join us on our Advisiory Board, contribute web content, add companies/non-profits to our list of Texas resources/partners and to plan future events.

This was just the beginning of many meetups. We plan to meet the fourth Wednesday of every month at 7PM. Stay tuned for more updates.

How Aspies View Friendship

I understand and embrace that I have Asperger’s and my mind works differently. All I really want are a few good friends and to feel like I’m a part of someone’s life. Just to feel special I guess.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what happens to me with friendships. People always say there are different levels of friendship. And I understand that there are. But my mind is like an on and off switch. My issue is that my brain is either emotionally turned off or emotionally turned fully on – there are no in-between stages.

So, anytime I’ve ever had a friend, I am fully into the friendship and end up pushing them away and smothering them. I get excited when someone wants to be my friend and cares about me. With autism, you don’t exactly have friends that care about you often and it’s easy to get excited.

This summer I made a really good friend. A true friendship, but I did the same thing that I always do. It’s either on or off. And for me, on is obsessively focusing on the friendship and the friend. There’s no mildly interested in the friend or just casual. It’s like the world revolves around that friend. I smothered the friend I made this summer.

I think that whenever I make a new friend, they’re able to handle Asperger’s and some clingyness. But there’s a difference between clingy and obsessive.

It’s always painful for me because when they tend to pull away and start needing space it feels like they are rejecting me. Then I try harder to save the friendship and that just makes it worse. Being able to break this cycle will be a huge step for me.

As hard as it is, Asperger’s isn’t an excuse to smother a friend. It is so easy to put all the blame on the friend and make them feel they’re responsible for you being happy. But a true friendship works both ways. I have to work harder to meet the needs of space for the friend of mine.

I really want help learning how to have the in-between levels of friendship so that I can keep a friend. How can I learn or train my brain how the interaction works with different levels of friendship? I know there’s no magic pill or cure. I’m just hoping that I can learn and not only save my friendship with the friend I made over the summer but also for help with making future friends as well.

- Travis Breeding

Read more about Travis at:
http://www.travisbreeding.com

Find more articles by Travis at:
http://www.specialneeds.com/children-and-parents/autism/my-asperger-mind-friendship

 

Little Acorn Academy

On August, 11th FAIR will be partnering with Little Acorn Academy to raise money for FAIR and to help them build classrooms for special needs children, including those with Autism. There will be face painting, popcorn, performing dogs and carnival games. For adults we have chair massages, free mini spa treatments and various venders. There will also be a silent auction, proceeds go towards FAIR.

FAIR had a great time at the Little Acorn Academy. There was a great turn out, the silent auction was successful and we raised money for FAIR’s next event. We were able to network with local vendors and meet a few families who need our help. We made great connections and contacts.

FAIR’s July Meetup


In July, FAIR had it’s first meetup. We met at Mangia’s Pizza in north Austin. We had a great showing. Everyone introduced themselves and are all excited to move FAIR forward.  We met for a round-table discussion and brainstorming. Our focus was introducing ourselves, our goals and mission.

We are looking for key people to join us on our Advisiory Board, contribute web content, add companies/non-profits to our list of Texas resources/partners and to plan future events.

This was just the beginning of many meetups. We plan to meet the fourth Wednesday of every month at 7PM. Stay tuned for more updates.

Hope for the Hopeless

Know that there is always hope!


Hope is the emotional state which promotes the belief in a positive
outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life.

Here at FAIR we believe that it is important to keep hope in your heart no matter what. Whether you are struggling with Autism or with an Immune Disorder, if you use traditional medical methods or alternative routes, it is important to remember that there are many people who are making progress.

The hope you need to get you through can come from anywhere. It could be an internal force, a candle that lights you from within. It could be an external drive that guides you and gives you strength.

Hope is not about blind trust, it is about being focused on a goal and believing that it can happen. It is having the fortitude to continue upward and onward even when faced with difficult situations. At times it may fell like there is no way forward and it’s the end of the world. You just have to stand up, dust your pants off and get back on that horse because  there is no obstacle that you can’t over come.

There are many brilliant people that have these illnesses or who care for someone who does. You are not alone in your struggle. The world is making breakthroughs everyday. Help is on the way.

FAIR is here to help lesson the financial burden, share knowledge and to give you a place to feel like you belong. We will be there to walk next to you on your journey.

Everyone has a purpose and it’s up to you to find it.

A “Warrior” does not give up what he loves,
he finds the love in what he does

-The Way of the Peaceful Warrior (Movie)

Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment.

- Napoleon Bonaparte

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.”

- John Lennon

On the other side of darkness,
far away there shines a light,

A light to end all sorrow,

A light to be ever free

- Raja Sivaji

 

The Best Strategy for Finding Friends

Good friends are so hard to find. Yes they are, especially when you have that belief.The reality is that it’s hard to spot them when all you focus on is the disproportionate number of jerks around. Keep in mind that the jerks are easier to spot because they are better at drawing attention to themselves and therefore seem more numerous.What if you subtracted the number of jerks you’ve identified from the total number of people in your life? You’d find there are so many more people to choose from than you realized.People who until you made that shift in your focus you likely weren’t aware of, because they weren’t working to get your attention.

 

Do a Little Sorting

Once you’ve identified the pool of potential quality people you need to narrow down the field so to speak.
How do you do that?

You MUST get clear on what you’d want in a friend. How would a good friend act, talk to people, treat people? Once you have those criteria then you must begin actively looking for the people who do those things.

You’ll love how few jerks you are able to see when you instead focus on identifying everyone but them.

 

Be a Treasure Hunter

To find the best friends you need the patience and perseverance of a treasure hunter.

Treasure hunters keep their eye on the prize but realize that not every dig results in striking gold. In fact, they expect to find nothing over and over and over again. The key is to keep digging until you find what you’re after – NO MATTER WHAT!

Sometime a person can appear nice but turn out not to be so nice. You can consider this person evidence of Fool’s gold in the friendship pool. Someone who appeared to be what you were looking for but turned out not to be.

I repeat, the key to a treasure hunt is that you don’t expect to strike gold the first time or even the 50th time. You expect to keep going until you strike gold and finding friends is the same way.

The best friend you’ve ever had could turn out to be the shy person who is simply waiting for you to introduce yourself.

Happy hunting.

Thanks For Being You,

Brian R. King LCSW, Lifeologist & Social Strategies Coach

Creator of “The Effective Factor” – Helping You Learn The Small Changes That Create The Bigger Results.