Good friends are so hard to find. Yes they are, especially when you have that belief.The reality is that it’s hard to spot them when all you focus on is the disproportionate number of jerks around. Keep in mind that the jerks are easier to spot because they are better at drawing attention to themselves and therefore seem more numerous.What if you subtracted the number of jerks you’ve identified from the total number of people in your life? You’d find there are so many more people to choose from than you realized.People who until you made that shift in your focus you likely weren’t aware of, because they weren’t working to get your attention.
Do a Little Sorting
Once you’ve identified the pool of potential quality people you need to narrow down the field so to speak.
How do you do that?
You MUST get clear on what you’d want in a friend. How would a good friend act, talk to people, treat people? Once you have those criteria then you must begin actively looking for the people who do those things.
You’ll love how few jerks you are able to see when you instead focus on identifying everyone but them.
Be a Treasure Hunter
To find the best friends you need the patience and perseverance of a treasure hunter.
Treasure hunters keep their eye on the prize but realize that not every dig results in striking gold. In fact, they expect to find nothing over and over and over again. The key is to keep digging until you find what you’re after – NO MATTER WHAT!
Sometime a person can appear nice but turn out not to be so nice. You can consider this person evidence of Fool’s gold in the friendship pool. Someone who appeared to be what you were looking for but turned out not to be.
I repeat, the key to a treasure hunt is that you don’t expect to strike gold the first time or even the 50th time. You expect to keep going until you strike gold and finding friends is the same way.
The best friend you’ve ever had could turn out to be the shy person who is simply waiting for you to introduce yourself.
Thanks For Being You,
Brian R. King LCSW, Lifeologist & Social Strategies Coach
Creator of “The Effective Factor” – Helping You Learn The Small Changes That Create The Bigger Results.